4.07.2006

The Best of Utah Recap

Hello, and sorry it's been so long since my last post. It turns out the new house is sucking all my free time away. I should have known. However, I wanted to give my thoughts on City Weekly's Best of Utah list:

Best Fortuitous Phone Number: 587-7827 Call it now, folks, to hear from LDS-STAR, aka, Walter Larabee. He's an excommunicated drag-queen. This might be a good number to give that obnoxious returned missionary that keeps bothering you, girl!

Best Smoke Free Mountain Music: Spur Bar & Grill in Park City. You should probably check this one out because soon (though not soon enough) all clubs and bars will be smoke free. I can hardly wait for the day! My clothes from last weekend are still smoking in the corner!

Best Break Up Spot: Temple Square. I wonder if this would work for lesbians?

Best Intersection: Van Winkle and 900 East. After over a year of blowing through here at 55 mph or more, I would have to agree. However, it's much better if you're heading southeast through this intersection. You almost feel like you've left the city when you see the eyes of raccoons in your headlights. However, I think it would be better if they could make this intersection more pedestrian friendly. I almost died there once getting off the bus and trying to cross the street!

Best People-Watching: Main Street TRAX stations: while I agree that it's amazing the variety and type of people you can see here, suddenly put on an equal level, I would have to put in for the DMV. After all, not everyone has to ride TRAX. But at some point, everyone has to stand in line for a Driver's license or to register a car. People here range from downright gross, to drunk to well-dressed folks who refuse to sit in the chair. Interesting times.

Best Burritos: Cafe Rio: I continue to be in awe that the shredded chicken salad is overlooked. I can get five or six of these a month and never tire of the creamy tomatillo dressing, tortilla strips, guacamole, lime and all things put together that create this little slice of heaven!

Best Chinese Takeout: Sampan: Even better in the restaurant, these folks probably know my partner and I by name by now. I also put in a vote for it to move up in the Best Chinese category!

Best Mexican: Red Iguana: Which is almost a given! I wish they'd open another one so we wouldn't have to wait so long, but I guess that's the old Utah logic that's often applied to roads. If we build more, wider, bigger roads, the traffic will flow better. I think building more Red Iguana's would only make things worse. Case in point: Cafe Rio.

Best Pizza: The Pie Pizzeria: We just discovered the Pie this year, and WOW! To think we have been wasting our time on Pizza Hut and Dominos when this has been right down the road. I really love the graffiti-covered walls too! Also, special mention goes to Wild Mushroom pizza, which is quick and tasty, with some REALLY good subs!

Best Sushi: Happy Sumo: Hurray for Happy Sumo's fantastic rolls and addicting Mt. Fuji chocolate cake. I went to Ichiban the other day, often relayed to me as the best sushi in town, and realized it was nothing next to my beloved Sumo. And you know it has to be good to have a chain in Provo that's actually successful!

Best Thai: Thai Siam: Perhaps City Weekly has not yet heard of Thai Siam knock-off (though it makes them really upset to be referred to like that) Sawadee. Located on South Temple (so much closer to downtown workers who want a good cheap lunch), their lunch special is only $5.95 and includes a salad, two entrees, a spring roll and rice. And the atmosphere is much calmer...no waiters and waitresses dipping behind a big picture of Thailand to get your drinks here!

Best Brine Shrimp Website: wildlife.utah.gov/gsl : Hurray for our namesake, the Great Salt Lake! Best Place to View Brine Shrimp: The Nature Conservancy's Great Salt Lake Shorelands Preserve.

Best Place to Dispose of Your American Flag: Colonial Flag & Gift: I wonder if they would give me 10% off the purchase of a Canadian flag if I brought in my old American?

Best Creep Catchphrase: "A full quiver of children.": ah Southern Utah, your wealth of amusing politicians is neverending!

Best Dedicated Publisher: Greta DeJong, Catalyst: When I first moved to Salt Lake I picked up a copy of Catalyst and knew I could stay in Utah, as long as it was close to a place where this free magazine is easily accessible.

Best Name Return: Salt Lake Bees: if only they weren't owned by Larry Miller, I could enjoy! As it is I'll be second-rating it with the Ogden Raptors or driving long distances to see the Dodgers or Rockies. Worth the extra money to not support The Man.

Best Persistent Media Misnomer: Chris Buttars: a man with "morals": City Weekly hit this right on the head. That's like saying Larry Miller is moral by pulling Brokeback, while showing things like Basic Instinct 2 (Rated R for strong sexuality, nudity, violence, language and some drug content), V for Vendetta (far more liberal (read: immoral) than Brokeback), Lucky Number Slevin (Rated R for strong violence, sexuality and language), She's the Man (about a girl dressing as a boy...a little to transsexual for comfort, wouldn't you say? Plus contains some sexual content), and Slither (Rated R for strong brutal violence, pervasive language, some drug content and sexuality/nudity). Family values all around!

Best Pregnant Pauses: Radio West's Doug Fabrizio: I only mention this here because I fall into the category of NPR nerd. And I WAS amazed at how young, vibrant and good looking Diane Rehm is! But, to Doug, I say congrats on a successful show! Just get to the point already!

Best Talk Radio Station: KUER 90.1: And I couldn't agree more! I'll admit I find it hard to tear myself away from the familiar format of KUER to try out other local NPR stations. Why mess with a good thing?

Best Activist: Scott McCoy: and with the 3rd runner up being Jackie Biskupski, it appears Utah is giving a shout out to the gay community! Repeal of amendment 3 up and coming? Probably not in my lifetime, but you've got to make progress somehow.

Best Bastions of Tolerance: Utah High Schools: From the mouths of babes...the voting of a lesbian couple as cutest couple just shows that the old dinosaurs in the Legislature and nationwide will always eventually be replaced by younger and more tolerant generations of people who see things in society their parents didn't see, and understand better what it is to be a good human being.

Best Defender of Incestuous Fathers: Sen. Darin Peters, R-Nephi: It makes one wonder what happens behind the closed doors of the homes of some Utah legislators. This is common sense human rights: a person has the right to be defended from those who would hurt them.

Best Evidence Utah is Progressing: iProvo?: My vote is in for City Weekly's naming of two gay legislators to the Best Activist category and the acceptance and tolerance of Utah high schools among the others mentioned. Also, to the Best Political Cause.

Best Evidence Utah is Regressing: DeeDee Corradini: And of course Chris Buttar's would be mentioned. But should be more prominently mentioned. Intelligent design should have also been included. After all, that's Dark Ages thinking right there.

Best Political Cause: Gay Rights: It feels good to have a series of hate-filled bills killed on the floor or by the governor's pen. I have gained more respect for Hunstman in this session than his entire career previous.

Best Tax Dollars in Action: Education: If only, if only we could squeeze a little more. It's amazing that with a huge surplus, lawmakers couldn't give a little more to our real future: children.

Best Way to Get Redneck Yahoos out of Utah: The Utah Minuteman Project: And a close runner up would be the NASCAR races in Vegas! I have some good friends that are fans of NASCAR, but putting them aside, I've discovered this to be a rather scary group of narrow-minded gits. I hear the leaded gasoline has a lot to do with it.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can't stand KUER - I like the variety of programming on KCPW.

Fabrizio is so goddamned pompous!

Juniper said...

I've tried KCPW a few times...but I'll check into it again. I'm always open to new stuff. Where is it on the FM dial?

Anonymous said...

88.3 on the FM dial or 1010 AM